Life’s so very interesting, isn’t it?
I first started writing my opening blog post - Past, Present + Future - back in February, right after starting work on my website design. I was doing quite well. I was sleeping. I had a good perspective on my work; and, I was prioritizing my life over work far better than I had ever done so in the past.
When it came time to launch my website last month, I tweaked the post and hit publish. I was happy with the post and knew it reflected my true outlook on life + work. However, it’s only in these weeks since that I realized I had slowly slipped back into some old habits: not sleeping, worrying too much about the future, fearing what people think of me / my work, and feeling that all too familiar anxiety creeping up into my heart again.
How did I end up back here? I didn’t let on to my husband or family that I was feeling overwhelmed. I only fully realized this myself over the weekend.
So here I am, on a Monday morning, resting. I am at my desk (aka: the dining room table), but I haven’t been designing. Instead, I’ve been reading, writing, listening, watching… all the while, music by All Sons + Daughters and Anthem Lights playing in the background and the sight of these gorgeous flowers (pictured above) right in front of me. My husband surprised me with them Saturday afternoon. The arrangement featured my favourite flower, Alstroemeria, some eucalyptus stems (veeeerrrry “Amy”); and, it came in the perfect white and green palette, with a sprinkling of soft pink like the colouring in my business logo. He probably didn’t realize any of this when he selected the bouquet, but these details were not lost on my.
I absolutely love flowers, but I rarely (if ever) buy them for myself because they can seem frivolous and unessential. And yet, here they are making my day and contributing to an overall feeling of self-care and rejuvenation. Perhaps my view on the definition of “essential” is too narrow.
Sometimes, I think we make the same mistake with our definition of “productivity.” We limit it to the progress we make in work and what we have to show others for our efforts; but, what about the progress we make in our inner woman / man? That’s work too. Hard work, in fact. Taking time to care for our needs, and the needs of those around us, is some of the most productive work we can and will do. There is no design work getting done today, but I have a feeling this week will be all the more productive for having taken this time to rest. I heard this quote yesterday:
It is when we are busiest that need the most rest. So, may we find time in the midst of our busy work (and this busy Christmas season) to find rest and to rejuvenate. Our productivity depends on it.
Note: Flowers by Bloom Petals + Gifts